‘Do you want more pussy?’ Farce…


I have an unusual name, Alienora, and, for some weird reason, it has attracted gallimaufries of confused perverts! Of both sexes, or so I am led to believe!

There’s the group, presumably of out-and-out Ladies of Negotiable Affection who, breaking the five syllables down into some kind of vaguely Arabic-sounding nomenclature, assume that I am a bloke and offer me regular pussy, ask if I need a penis extension or check whether I have a machine (God only knows what for!)…

Then there’s the members, allegedly, of certain countries’ Armed Forces who, uniform-clad and bristling with medals, send me friend notifications on Facebook (which I then delete!). Since I have no connections with any of them, I can only assume that ‘Come Laughing!’ suggests to some that I am a prostitute and up for a bit of ‘How’s Yer Father?’ with any passing Tom, Dick or Harry.

One or two men, from various parts of the world, have been more direct, and unsettling in their approach. The one I recall most vividly was the chap who invited me to Chat, as I believe the expression is, and sent me a profile image of him naked and – er – interested, shall we say? More than I was, that’s for sure! Given that I am fifty-eight, and his photo suggested a male barely out of his teens, that would have been Cradle-Snatching on my part, Granny-Shagging on his – and repulsive on both!

Pass the bucket!

So, if there’s anyone out there who assumes the letters ‘alienora’ spell either ‘horny guy’ or ‘tart with heart’, think again!

For the record: I don’t want pussy (being mildly allergic to cats anyway!); I do not accept credit cards for a service I have bugger-all intention of providing – and my Purple-Headed Womb-Broom never developed beyond my father’s fervent wish to start his tribe with a first-born son (which I managed to fuck up by being a girl!).

Anyone else get Spam of this kind?

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7 thoughts on “‘Do you want more pussy?’ Farce…

    1. alienorajt

      Unusual certainly, Julie; I have never met another one in my fifty-eight years of life – except the brief mention of the fourteenth century version on the Browning family tree (which is where my father got the name!). xx

      Like

  1. Well, I did enter into negotiations with that young, hung, hunk that so desperately wanted to Chat. After much negotiation, we arranged to meet in person at a service station on the M6. Bit disappointing really… turned out to be a bald, toothless (don’t knock it…), octogenarian chap operating out of a caravan parked up on the A5, and he’d stolen the picture off some random Snapchat account…

    On a more serious note… Not really…

    Maybe I need to change my profile picture to young, hung, hunk. I’m sure I still have a copy around here somewhere… Mottled, old, grey, bear just doesn’t seem to have the pulling power it once had… Disappointing really, as that’s pretty much how it is… lol

    Liked by 1 person

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