I am not following anyone at the moment…

This is the elephant in my blogging room: The glaring and vast beast which I can always see, but have been too afraid – and shamed – to mention.

There are valid reasons for this decision to, I hope temporarily, stop actively supporting my fellow writers. One is the muscular pain which makes typing such a nightmare.

The other is far simpler – and yet far more distressing and stress-inducing: I am going through a divorce, and have, therefore, to be very careful what I say on here – and I have, if possible, to keep my blog pretty obscure for the moment. To put it bluntly, I cannot risk befriending unknowns, even knowns, because I simply do not know who reads their blogs (if you get my drift) and am unwilling to put myself in a position where I am being read by the wrong people.

I probably shouldn’t be blogging at all, to be honest – and the real reason why I have started and then deleted several blogs in the past two years was to get away from those who were either hostile readers, or simply ones who misinterpreted my situation.

I sacrificed a big, relatively successful blog (with a couple of thousand followers) for this little one because I had to. I had no choice in the end – and, if I have to leave this one behind, and delete all my posts, it will be for the same reason. But I will not be silenced in this way for much longer. On that point I am adamant.

So, for the moment, I am using my blog as a very necessary means of self-expression, of therapy, of allowing that poetic side through during a time of unhappiness and fear – and of appreciating the many beauties of this world we live in when, sometimes, I am tempted to give up.

I do not know when the situation is going to be resolved (in so far as such things ever can be) – and, even if I did know, I would not say.

As any of you who have had to make this difficult and painful decision will be aware, this is a time of great insecurity and terror and bouts of fear for the future. My recent novel-related blog-pushes have very much come out of that scarcity space – and I can only apologise for that.

So, now it is out in the open. Thank goodness. I am not naturally deceitful. Lying and pretending do not come easily to me. Elephants loom vast in my rooms – and, eventually, I always have to name them.

Bear with me if you can – and, if you cannot, I will quite understand.


8 thoughts on “I am not following anyone at the moment…

  1. I am a firm believer that none should ever have to justify themselves on these social platforms for not following, reading,commenting bla bla the whole enchilada, to anyone, even themselves. I see your posts as your social interaction, would it not be an unhealthy friendship that I measure it by your visits to my sites only?
    Those who are interested will read and interact and not ask a justification every 2 minutes. It is tiring and exhausting to give those ,and, me thinks, one of the reasons most people I know are hesitant to reach out and befriend anyone in the first place.
    I am rooting for you for your personal issues!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is good to know. If you are a writer, you may not necessarily have the social “aptitude” (or should I say attitude) that other bloggers have. It’s not necessary to follow other bloggers (or comment therein) if all you want to do is write.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. alienorajt

      Absolutely, Noah. Thank you for this. I definitely am lacking on the social aptitude front (and have done since I was a small child) – so that aspect of blogging was never going to be easy for me, I’m afraid. xx


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