Catch 22: Pain and Writing

The recent Thoracic Spine x-ray results showed minor degenerative wear and tear, but nothing serious. Thank Goddess.

But the fact remains that, since Friday, I have gone into a downward spiral in terms of pain. The latest – excruciating muscular spasms going up my left arm and biting deep into my left breast – have left me panic-stricken and despairing.

My lovely female doctor has said that she suspects things will not ease until the psychological stress and anguish in my life begins to lift. All the medics can do is to try and find effective analgesics to support my physical being during the struggle.

Friends have said the same.

I know this to be true.

Typing exacerbates the agony.

I want to write. I want to promote my books.

Physically I can do neither of these things.

As good a definition of despair as any I can think of.

I know, because it is obvious, that events in my private life on Friday, and over the weekend, have kicked off this latest, and worst ever, flare-up.

I cannot keep going like this. The blogging is going to have to stop – at least short-term.

I have not run out of ideas, of creativity. But my body is screaming and spasming and fighting a battle. A battle I feel, at present, that I am losing.

Utterly powerless, is how I feel.

Everything friends have recommended, I have tried and am continuing to try.

NOTHING WORKS.

Please don’t take that personally, those who have made helpful suggestions.

It is not your suggestions that are wrong; it is the sheer complexity of my situation that is preventing effective, long-lasting relief and healing.

I have written nearly a hundred blog posts on here, published five books on Amazon. That is going to have to be enough for now. I am running on empty.