I used to delete posts regularly because I was frightened.
Since starting this blog, back in December last year, I have kept every single thing I have written.
This is brave because I do not know who reads my pieces – and certain controversial and provocative ones could still end up in the wrong hands (as it were).
So what has changed?
Simple. No one can now persuade me that I am lying, exaggerating, over-reacting or insane. Since I know that I am telling the truth (though, obviously, edited highlights of same), any attempt to tell me that I am not counts as a lie in and of itself. Far from exaggerating, I am more likely to be endlessly down-playing. If crying or feeling devastated when treated badly is over-reaction, then by all means label me as over-reactive. But I don’t think it is.
Insane? No. Delusional? I wish! It would, after all, be lovely to float in comforting clouds of delusion and not have to face painful reality.
No: I am entirely sane – and, within the parameters of operating upon a public site, honest. I am proud of what I write, whether it is dark and sad or funny or beautiful – and no post deserves to be put to death out of fear.