In praise of a few of my more obscure posts! And, if that doesn’t put you off terminally, read on…
Sounds like Readers’ Wives, doesn’t it? Anybody out there remember that section of certain Top Shelf magazines? Absolutely hilarious! Funny how my views have changed: When I was a lissom and nubile late teen/early twenty, I was disparaging in the extreme – looked at what I thought of as manky old bags on full view and thought, ‘What a turn off! How could they? I never would…’
Now I am nearer sixty than twenty (much nearer!), I look at these ladies strutting their stuff with a certain admiration, a kind of, ‘Good on ya, Girl!’
As for saying I never would – well, in a sense, I did: As long-time readers will be aware, I was a nude model, on and off, until fairly recently (and haven’t discounted going back to it!). Great fun! Uber liberating! Certainly for drawing and pottery classes, being the perfect shape is seen as less interesting to draw/sculpt – and I had a fair few admirers back in the day.
Where was I? Oh, yes, making a tenuous link between ladies, of a certain age, posing either nude or semi-clad – and readers’ preferences when it comes to the Orange-Haired One’s blog!
Just as the younger Alienora struggled to understand the fulsome cornucopia of attractiveness contained within the age-painted bodies of the over-forties, so the older version of same finds readers’ choices of posts both endearing and mysterious!
I am sure many of you find this too: Often the posts I am most proud of get barely a look, while those I toss off in a fairly cavalier manner (makes me sound like an English Civil War Royalist Masturbator!) regularly get snapped up like the choicest morsels and devoured with voracious appetite. Or to prune the persiflage, it’s all a bit damn weird!
‘Duck with a Dick!’ for example – which told the true story of my buying a yellow plastic duck, with an enormous phallus, as a close friend’s Christmas present – struck me as being a jolly old tale, somewhat in the P.G.Wodehouse strain of writing (though considerably more vulgar, this being me!) and, I confess, I laughed out loud both during the experience itself and whilst writing about it.
Completely angst-free, I anticipated it would go down a treat!
It didn’t! Barely a view!
The same goes for two of the poetic, descriptive pieces I wrote around the same time – December last year: ‘Snow Hare’ and ‘Winter Birth and Ice Nymph’…
I think part of the answer lies in the timing: I only started this blog in the month of December – and it always takes a while for a blogger to catch on, as it were.
But also, there is this: Our tastes do not always coincide even with those we are closest to (we all know that) – and books we choose to read, and which we adore, often leave even close family members completely cold.
I have to be honest here: I do have a bawdy, earthy, rude side to my nature. You may have noticed. I don’t just call a spade a spade; I very often can be heard calling it a ****ing spade! And my frank, graphic discourses on sex and body parts may be a little overwhelming/off-putting/downright off-turning to those of a more sensitive and/or squeamish nature.
Fair enough. Each to his own.
But I still think ‘Duck with a Dick!’ is, in its own inimitable way, a bloody good post!
Is that a palmate I see before me – or is that duck just pleased to see me?!