Do I get a lot of Spam?!! A HUMOROUS rant!

Is the Pope a Catholic? Do bears crap in the woods? Or possibly vice-versa!

Now is the time to recharge my choleric batteries with a damn good rant! Warning: Do not read if you either are, once were, once ate or once played with a TROLL, as my outspoken comments may offend!

Much of my recent Spam has, in fact, been illiterate Trolls – and, not to be sexist about this, Trollesses/Trollerinas – asking me if I have suffered from excessive Spam of late!

Yes, You Egregious Under-the-Bridge-Dwelling Twats, I have! From YOU! Why, in Billy Goat Gruff’s name, don’t you get a job, a blow-up doll-troll, a f***ing life?

Yesterday morning, I got twice as many Spam comments as I did hits – and, to make it worse, one incoherent cretin (clearly translating from Ancient Trollish as he went along) slipped through the Akismet Net twice, which meant I had to plough through his nonsensical bollocks on two tedious occasions. I still have absolutely no idea what this wazzock was on about! Could have been a Mead Hall saga about Grendel’s Mother, for all I know!

Blogging’s come to a pretty pass when the Trolls are outnumbering the genuine visitors twenty to one.

Can’t we just leave the poor bloody badgers alone and cull the Trolls instead?!

This is what they imagine they look like!

In your dreams, Trolls!

Reality below:

Let’s be frank: I used to suck/plait/wash these little buggers’ hair for fun, and twist their bloody annoying little heads off when I was bored – or shove a pencil up their posteriors and write with them.

Be warned, Trolls!