Later, I discovered that another friend had read ‘Long-Leggety Beasties’ and posted the wonderful review – copied at the bottom of this post – onto Amazon.
Many thanks to both of these people – and the other individuals who have supported my bid to become a published, and read, and KNOWN, writer.
I am published. I am being read. I have many reviews on Amazon. But the ‘known’ part of the equation continues to elude me – though I am hoping to push hard once I have moved.
However, in a sublime irony, I have recently read the autobiography of a well-known person. It cost about £20 to buy (though I borrowed it!). This is more than I have made from all my books in 2016. I am not going to name names. But, the book, though interesting, was repetitive in places, by no means well-written and, if I am to be frank, seems to have merited the attentions of the traditional publisher who nabbed it on the basis of celebrity alone.
It does bother me that celebrities (most of whom are moderately to extremely wealthy anyway) get yet more money coming their way from book deals of this kind.
If writers like me also were attracting the tiny slice of the literary money pie that goes to the Names, I wouldn’t mind so much. But, we are NOT.
It is such an uneven playing field, isn’t it? And the reality is this: The writer mentioned above will, no doubt, have had all the exposure, prime place in bookshops and advertisements on TV and online necessary to add up to a seriously lucrative deal, with reviewers tripping over one another to be the first to glamorise the book.
How on earth can I, with my nineteen reviews on ‘LLB’, hope to compete with this kind of practice? I have said it before – and will, no doubt, say it again – that it is not enough, in this Age of the Celebrity, to be a genuinely good writer (which I am); one would only be guaranteed top rating, and skirmishes between all well-known publishers to grab the prize, if one were, let us say, a serial adulterer/mass murderer/cannibal/abuser of some kind/on television/in films/in a famous band/sports star/politician (preferably disgraced or dead)!
Perhaps I am approaching this the wrong way! Maybe I should be auditioning for slots in the comedy circuit, Pole-Dancing outside 10, Downing Street or doing something so revolting (goat-shagging, for example) that I get into all the newpapers/on all the television news slots; maybe I should, in a word, be fighting for notoriety and hoping that my books would be boosted enormously in the slip-stream of human nosiness/lascivious desire to read the worst we are capable of as a species!!
I’ll end by saying this: The link below would be BUZZING, my dears – red-hot with eager hands! – if I were known as Alienora, The Lucretia Borgia of South West England, or Alienora: A Modern-Day Vlad the Impaler – or, Alienora: Dr Doolittle: She SLEEPS with the animals!
If I were any of those things, copies of my books would be flying off the press!
Ah well! On balance, I would rather gain readers through my own literary merits (which are considerable!) than woo potential buyers with my celebrity status alone, as if being famous makes people intrinsically more interesting (it doesn’t), worthwhile (as if!) and readable (ha bloody ha!)…
Right, pass me another llama!
By The Faint Girl on 3 Oct. 2016
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Fabulously hilarious and deserves to be turned into a film! Alienora’s talent for perfect comedic timing, her outragously evocative descriptive writing style and her wonderfully rich vocabulary make reading any of her books a joy. But with LLB she cranks everything up to eleven and she had me literally laughing out loud. My only regret was that it had to end – surely a sequel is long overdue!