Am I, as some have assumed, in denial about the fact that I am overweight?
No, not a bit of it! I am well aware, fully cognisant, of the fact that my tonnage and poundage does not fit the norm – and that, by not going on a diet or fussing over-much, I am, by some, seen as over-indulgent, lazy and reactionary.
But, by the same token, I am not, and never have been, taken in by this wide-spread belief that slim is the only way to be; that it is the Holy Grail of size; that it automatically confers the gifts of beauty and sex appeal; that it makes the narrow of waist automatically happy and healthy, successful and wealthy.
Yes, I could be thinner. Couldn’t we all be more, or less, of something in our lives? But I think we obsess over size to a depressing and ridiculous degree – and, in so-doing, we are in denial in other, equally relevant, ways. We deny the basic truth that there is more to a person’s character and level of attractiveness than perfect vital statistics. We deny the fact that some people find generously-built women more sexy, rather than less. We are in complete denial about the fact that body-shape fashions fluctuate – and what is seen as the size to aspire to now, in 2017, would have been laughed to scorn by earlier generations.
My own opinion is that a person glows, or fails to do so, from within. Light does not start from an hourglass figure, perfectly-coiffured hair and a designer wardrobe. We emit light from a source that is other than the physical form with which we show ourselves to the world – and, saying this, I can see that the oft-quoted saying, ‘The light shines through the cracks,’ may, in fact, have more than metaphorical truth about it.
The word ‘hot’ has come to mean a certain look, hasn’t it? And, with that rigidity at work, we deny any appearance which deviates from this societally-agreed standard the various appellations which point to sexiness, or beauty or gorgeousness.
You see, I am not in denial about my weight, my statistics (vital or otherwise!). I just don’t think they matter as much as the qualities I have as a person, the pleasure I get from life, the enjoyment of friends. All too often, the action of losing weight becomes a sour kind of denial (of life’s richness) in itself – and the ‘fulfilment’ (one assumes emotional) of not eating certain things, of denying appetite and the sensual delight of food, strikes me as being as sad in its own way as the binge-eating associated with larger people.
Self-denial, no matter how worthy, always strikes me as a thin (all puns fully intended), almost mean – and, all too often, sanctimonious – kind of pleasure. There is, I’m afraid, usually an underlying superiority, a covert, ‘I can do this. You can’t. I’ve got self-control. You have none!’
So what are we in denial about? Where size and weight are concerned? That losing weight may not alter our lives for the better! This: Our weird belief, almost a religion in its own calorie-counting right, that getting to that desired size will cure every ill we suffer and make our lives all they should be. That weight loss, or gain, has anything to do with fundamental happiness or contentment in life.
We deny the reality, the stark and unpopular truth: That losing weight per se makes no sodding difference to quality of life within. Or it only does if our lives revolve around fitting certain clothes, being fit and admired by men and being envied by fatter women!
Of course lose weight for health reasons. I am not denying the logic of that one. But let us stop twinning slimness with grace, beauty, moral superiority and high intelligence. Let us cut this spurious link between being slim and being happy, sexy, loved and confident.
Happiness is a state of mind. It is an emotion. It is not linked to bodily dimensions. Call me a bitch if you will (many already have!) but I see no contentment in people so afraid of putting on an ounce that they deny themselves yummy food, weigh themselves every hour on the hour and purge any known excess from their systems.
If that is what it takes to be slim and ‘happy’, count me out!
I am overweight! I am active. I walk every day. I eat some so-called bad foods. So what? I am happier now than I was a year ago! After a year of eating little more than Granola, I am, currently, not denying myself!
The above image show the latest phase in the Silent Eye costume process. I shall show no more, and have deliberately hidden most of it within the all-purpose purple cloak!
Is slim really analogous with beauty?
Over to you!