Panicked by weeks of almost no sleep courtesy of my beloved elderly hound, I grabbed the Sherry bottle and decanted a gurt slug of it into Jumble’s bowl. Worked a treat, I have to say! Here is the story from the Canine POV!
I are plenty much achy-dog. Back legs do be a-shaking and moany-sore and creaky like bone in teeth when go sleepies on pink car- pit. Own Goddess do weirdy things in gard-den with many peoples all blacky and reddy and loudy laughings. She do have biscuits. Me shutted in car, but smelling food. Not good. Not kind for Jumlebs.
But, ‘lowed up stairs and in God-bed this uppy/downy new place. Little jump on to swofty purple ruggy. Sometimes fall off on way up. Night worst. All leggies do cry out and beddy hot and full of Own Goddess. She do roll and move and push Jubmel to edge and get plenty much cross, ‘Jumble! Stop pacing up and down, for rude word rude word’s sake!’
I go down stairs and howl at Moon. Doggies do. Part of our nay-chur. Goddess bellow like fox caught in huge trap. I use claws on door like big drum. Fun, fun, fun! Bang! Scratch! Panting with joy.
Goddess screech down like nasty big cat over road and boot Jumbs into gard-den. Silly mare!
Last night, I in out in out like no tomorrow (as Goddess do say, only use very bad word too) what wiv hurty parts and peemails to answer and rabbit to sniff nosies with and all that dog stuff. Goddess, she do talk through her Post Erior!
Sudden, there be big clunky gluggy sound and smell like washy machine and red ooze Goddess do drink when she think I not notice – and my bowl has lumpy bread, love bread I do, and all wet and smelly wiv brown sauce on top, yum yum!
I do tuck in. Mmmmmmmm. All gone. Lick plate clean. More licky of plate. Full of burpy happy feels. Leggies gone a bit numb but not hurt. I big strong young dog again, afore vet person took off bits at back and gave silly lamppost round throat ‘stead. I wobble up stairs, following pack of lady dogs, heehee! Launch self, like frisbee, on bed. Purple throw warm and deep and curl up next to Goddess’s feet.
Sleep like dead, as Goddess say.
Sherry, she do call it, cackling with friend on phone.
Hmm! More? ‘Nother plate for Jmlbue?
Note from Ali, aka Own Goddess: Little bugger got to the laptop while my back was turned and got this out before you could say, ‘Heel, you accursed hound!’ Honestly, I have no idea where, or who, he gets this level of attention-seeking behaviour from!