All righty, grab your virginals, theorbo, krumhorn or viol and sing along to this modern rendition of one of Henry V111’s finest ditties (as opposed, given his proclivities, to one of his finest titties!).
Alas, my back, I do thee wrong,
To put thee out so painfully:
For I have loved thee oh so long,
Delighting in thy agility.
Firm spine was all my joy,
Firm spine was my delight,
Firm spine was my leap for Gold,
And who but my Lumbar Firm Spine?
If you intend to be this way
It does the more infuriate me;
And even so I still remain,
Pain-flattened in captivity
(Chorus: see above!)
Firm spine, now fare thee well, adieu;
Doc, I pray he will unkink thee;
For I am still thy Ali true,
Come once again and uphold me!