Hmmm! Delectable fun, and a most entertaining afternoon! Allow me to indulge myself…
Well, Darlings, one of the sexy soixante-neuf (‘positions’ painted by my lurid and sensual pen in ‘Come Laughing!’ – a must for all discerning women and brave men!) featured that lovable old trollop, Booby Fellatio. This redoubtable woman of negotiable affection (who, in my imagination, is exceeding reminiscent of Caroline Quentin in Fanny Hill mode) lives a life devoted to the ‘grooming’ of young men, for whom she has a decided penchant, and is, of course, nothing like her creator, hem hem!
Two days ago, my friend, Aelph, was kind enough to film me ensouling not just Booby, but also the young couple in ‘Fragments of Wood’ and the blunt and bawdy self who is responsible (well, someone’s got to say these things!) for ‘Roundheads and Cavaliers’ (as I warn in the introduction, these designations have little to do with the English Civil War!)
So there we were, two ladies of creative temperament and raucous laughter, me reclining upon a plush sofa comprising cushions, some designed by my friend, in vivid and gorgeous hues and throws in colours which complemented my garmentage most satisfactorily – and Aelph at the other end of the camera-and-tripod part of the proceedings!
I reclined regally, a copy of the aforesaid book perched perkily upon my fleshly avoirdupois, and, reflecting that thirty years of reading books they hated to adolescents who could barely read (and making them laugh anyway!) had stood me in excellent stead for this venture, faced the beady eye of the mobile phone and launched forth.
Though I say it myself, I make a marvellous job of bringing posh totty to the screen: What with vowels you could use to strangle passing cats and diction so crisp it could be used in micro-surgery, I reckon I make a most convincing Lady of the Manor who is no better than she ought to be on the quiet!
My polemic on Percy (a euphemism with which I am sure you are all familiar) was easily the hardest to do (fnah, fnah), as we kept falling about in unsightly and distracting mirth at gewgaws, small quails and the like; but Booby’s finest moment was also interrupted by fits of the giggles when her Papua New Guinean tribesman made an appearance (as it were!).
‘Fragments of Wood’ – which is serious and based on reality – was, in many ways, the most straightforward to read because I was able to adopt a vaguely sensual tone without going over-the-top into outright sleaze.
The idea is for this to be edited and stuck together – and, eventually, launched on YouTube for the public to listen to, and watch!
I absolutely loved doing this. Booby Fellatio is a splendid character, though I say so myelf: Utterly unsubtle, delusional to an endearing degree, man-mad and with a sex drive that is more Grand Prix racing car (all puns fully intended!) than Skoda on a B road, this upper class tart should, I hope, grab watchers, and readers, by the proverbials!
Many thanks to Aelph for allowing me to nest amongst her cushions as I declaimed – and, of course, for filming this soon-to-be-launched endeavour! More on this anon…
Laugh? I thought they’d never dry!